[Beginning of the end 3/7] Family Growth

|| She was entirely unsure what it was, but waking up that morning little more than a week later, something felt different. For once that week, she had managed to wake up before Damien, which she considered quite a feat. But of course, that meant it was something like the middle of the night, not morning. It was still dark outside, with traces of sunlight peeking that wouldn't fully show for another hour or so. Chava wakes rather peacefully, but not without a groan of pain to accompany it. She was used to random aches of pain from the usual bruises or cuts, but this felt rather different. At first, she just assumed herself sick. A fever, which she hadn't had in quite a while. She felt slightly dizzy, her stomach twisting into small knots as if she were going to throw up. She simply lay there for about a half hour, the pain and discomfort seemingly only increasing with every minute. No, this felt slightly different than an average sickness. Pulling her wand from the nightstand, careful not to wake Damien, she casts a quick spell on herself to analyse her symptoms; and then cast the spell again. And again. Repeatedly, as if to make sure the results were not false. But the more the idea the magic gave her and the more the pieces fit together, the more it made sense. And instantly her mind snapped into a breakdown, a total fit worthy of her own mental ward. Which, of course, started with a loud, ear piercing shriek, loud enough to wake Damien.

|| While Damien was an early riser, given the sheer amount of things he had to do each day as well as a certain desire to wake up early, he still valued what little sleep he got. It was a way of refreshing himself before life threw shit his way, as it always did. So while he preferred to wake up early, the manner by which he woke up today was certainly not a way he'd enjoy getting up. No, needless to say, the shriek that reverberated around the room caused him to shoot up sitting upright, his hands clutching at his ears until the shriek was over. He groaned, releasing his grip on his ears, shaking his head as if trying to get himself to hear again. "That's a hell of a way to wake up." He muttered to himself. He pulled himself out of bed, throwing on some robes, before moving over towards the window. Upon seeing the still darkened sky, he turned back to face Chava, before leaning against the wall. "So what caused you to scream in the middle of the night?"

|| Before she had even heard Damien begin to speak, she was already scrambling out of bed, in full panic. Many of her fears were coming to life in just this one moment, and there wasn't anything more she could do about it. This would terrible, horrible, awful, for both her and Damien. It would make things so much more complicated... it was already hard enough with what they had. She throws the blanket from her form, scrambling around the room for her dagger. "Oh fuck, shit, fuck..." she groans repeatedly under her breath, before finding the blade and grasping it in her palm. She didn't bother to answer Damien, she didn't even hear him. She was entirely too concerned with this new problem at hand. There was no doubt anymore what it was- after all, Chava had been pregnant once before, and there was Aveline. And Damien had Clover /and/ a little sister... She couldn't bring another burden into his life and her own. Yet here she was. What if he got upset? What if he freaked out too? Her face burning red, her fingers clench at her stomach before she throws herself from the room, looking for somewhere else to go to. The basement seemed like a nice idea.

|| Whatever had happened or was happening, it was so strange, he couldn't quite fathom what was going on. A sigh escaped his lips, and he tried to get in her way, "What's going on?" He asks though she only moves around him and out the door. Was it Lucedio? Did he do something? Mess with her mind perhaps. Did she see him? Perhaps it was Aeron? None of those seemed right, but they were the only guesses he had. "Chava!" He sighed again, before rushing down the stairs after her, before she could do something crazy or stupid. She had that new vow to think of which he absolutely did not like, and thought that vow should never have been made. It was just another way she could possibly die. He grabbed Chava's shoulder's before calmly saying, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

|| She continues to ignore Damien all the way down the stairs and even makes her way in front of the basement, before he pulls her back. At that point, she was crying, /really/ crying, is which was kind of ridiculous in and of itself. She reduced it to a crazy kind of mood swing and hormonal imbalance, and tries to pull away from Damien. "Be careful, I'm fucking psychotic," she warns, knowing that in this state, her meltdowns were bound to be a million times worse. She couldn't trust herself. At yet she was still holding the blade. And before she could realize Damien wasn't the only one at risk from her, she turns and spins the tip of the blade to press gently against her stomach, which felt upset and still sick. She makes as if to press the blade deep into her abdomen when she feels Damien again, and is snapped into a semblance of her right mind as he was sure to stop her. And she was so eager too… "I- I'm sorry, I didn't, I..." she stutters, dropping the blade and stumbling backwards until her back was against the wall. As if in answer, both her hands simply clutch around her middle.

|| Despite her state, he pressed on. If she accidentally killed him, oh well. The only thing he'd regret in that situation was that Chava had made a vow herself and would follow him. Which was the last thing he wanted. Who knows, maybe a painless death would be a loophole for her to live. The first thing he decided to do, was grab the dagger once she dropped it. He didn't want her to try harming herself again. He flicked it out of the basement, before locking the room away from the rest of the house, that way there was no way she could harm herself, minus the tools and the forge, but he'd keep an eye on her, and make sure she never got close to either. "I don't know what you're apologizing for, so tell me what's going on."

|| Maybe, just maybe, she was overreacting. But even if she were to realize that, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. It would happen anyway, Chava was born to be unreasonable. She backs away further, before sliding down the wall and collapsing into the floor, doubling over as if in pain. "I feel so sick..." she murmurs, curling her arms around her stomach. Of course this would be natural for her. She jumps into crazy again, shaking her head and shivering. "You don't... you don't understand." Moments later her head was being slammed backwards into the wall, as if trying to get the voices and the stress out of her. Then she screams again, just as loud as the first time, but much more prolonged, clawing at her throat and face with her nails. "Dami, I'm sorry," she whimpers when her scream dies down. It was all mental anguish. Any physical pain was beyond bearable by her standards. "I don't want to stress you out more or give you more reason to worry about me, or give you more reason to worry about another kid or get us into any trouble, and I'm a terrible person I'm terrible, I... I..." She hasn't realised the hint of her meltdown was out, before she could even stop herself. She had no clue what she was saying and couldn't help but ramble. She hides her face between her knees as if in shame, curled up tight.

|| At first, he thought it was the sickness which drove her to such lengths, though it was quite a length to go to over sickness, but the more she spoke, the more Damien understood. It wasn't his first marriage, nor was it the first time a wife had been pregnant. He could recognize the signs, even if she hadn't practically outright stated it. "Oh." he started, before sitting against the opposite wall. "Oh." he repeated, unable to bring himself to say anything different for a good while. On one hand it was another mouth to feed and care for. Another potential nuisance. He already housed Clover, Serena, and Aveline, so another child would add quite a bit of stress to their everyday lives, even with the fortune he had stolen away. On the other hand, there was the potential for a son to carry on, and revitalize, the Thorne name. Though one thing for certain, it wouldn't do for Chava to harm herself, given her new vow. "I see." He shuffled across the room, before placing a hand on her shoulder. "You aren't a terrible person, at least according to me. You have nothing to apologize for." He offered a slight smile, though his eyes betrayed the level of thought he was putting into this, which was quite a lot. "It takes two to tango after all."

|| He hadn't said much, but it was enough to continue to set her off. Damien obviously had finally understood what the problem was, and somehow, it made it all the harder for her. All this would do would cause them stress and give them more to worry about. And Chava was a terrible mother- Aveline could probably say as much. Damien hadn't had good insight on her relationship with her daughter, so he didn't know just how bad a parent she was. What if he would be disgusted with it? She looks into his eyes, which was an immediate mistake. Pulling away from him, she tries to get up to run out of the room again. "You're upset," she mumbles, sniffling. "I knew you would be." How could she look at him or continue to live with herself? For some reason, she only blamed herself. Reaching the door, she spins back around, eyes scanning the area, looking almost dangerous. "Where's my dagger?"

|| As much as he wanted to say more on the subject, for the first few moments the only thing he could do was stare at Chava mulling over this whole scenario. He knew there was a lot of galleons packed away in his vault, but was it enough to support Chava, four kids, and then be able to buy Hogwarts supplies when that came around? He hadn't been down to his vault since Chava had killed his parents, so he wasn't sure the size of the fortune his parents had packed away, but he knew beforehand he certainly didn't have enough for all of that. He was reminded of how he liked to live alone previously. It was easy to support himself, since he never had to pay for food. He just took it from his victim's corpses. When Chava spoke, his eyes darted up towards her. "I'm not upset. Just thinking." He pointed towards the stairs, and subsequently the wards he'd established earlier to make sure she couldn't hurt herself. "Up there. But I'm not letting you harm yourself. Remember your vow."

|| Chava snarls, spinning around again to kick her foot into the wall. She was very easily moving from crying and upset to just angry, violent, and shaky. But of course, kicking or punching walls wouldn't be enough to get her anywhere at all, this she knew. So she spins back around to Damien, a steely glint in her eyes, gritting her teeth. "I don't give a damn about my vow," she mutters, fingers snaking upwards to grip at the roots of her hair and pull at the strands. Her eyes squeeze shut. "Letting myself get hurt and letting myself die are two different things, I want my dagger." And, with an opening of her eyes, there's a sudden light in them, as if she had just come to another idea. Chava suddenly starts on Damien, rushing over towards him once more and looking him up and down. "Where's /your/ dagger?" she asks, looking almost desperate. "I'll fix it."

|| Damien shook his head at Chava before sighing slightly. It seemed Chava saw no other option other than the route she was currently on. He wouldn't let her leave until he was absolutely sure she wouldn't harm herself. "Yeah, well I do. I'd much rather you not die because your anger forces you to see no other options." When she moves over towards him, he holds his palm up at her, before shaking his head. "All of my weapons are upstairs. I don't sleep with them on me, after all." He leans against that wall, directing his eyes towards hers, before saying, "You have no choice, but to realize what other options you have. I'm not letting you leave while you're so bent on harming yourself."

|| She sucks in a breath, taking another step from Damien. She had to think, but her mind was going at a million miles an hour, so all she could concentrate on was where her emotions were taking her. And right now, they were compelling her to stick a knife in herself or to go find Lucedio again. Even despite her vow. Which could only mean so much in the first place. It was really only meant to console Damien, but it really probably only had to opposite effect on him. "You know if I'm dead you can't have another kid to bother you, and two less people to pay for and worry about." Chava knew this wouldn't change his mind, but she'd try it anyway. Groaning, she slams her palm into her forehead, before slumping down on Damien and burying her head into his shoulder. She was crying again. "You know this is just bad, it's bad..." she mumbles. And that's all she could think about. The negatives, not the positives. If there were any. "I'll just get weaker and weaker and I'll be pathetic and no use to you at all and it'll be an easier target for Lucedio and... I..." she takes a deep breath, trying to stop herself from babbling on and on.

|| No matter what happened, it seemed there was no talking Chava away from her goal, but he would damn well try. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before raising his head to look at her as she spoke. "Perhaps so, but then I'd have a life far less worth living. Besides, you can always eat people like me. There's no cost to that." He smirks slightly, winking after his semi-joke was made. When she presses herself against him, crying, he wrapped his arms around her, "There are positives and negatives to every situation. You just have to find the positives. For example, sure the negatives of having been left on the streets as a child were plentiful. Yet, at the same time, the positive of that was I didn't have to live with my parents." He retracted one hand, moving it under her chin, trying to get her to look at him before speaking. "When I was injured you stood by me. When you were injured, I stood by and protected you, just as you did to me. Just like now, I will stand by you and make sure you're protected during this stage. I can have some people from the ministry come down and add to the wards for extra precaution."

|| She looks at him, gripping him tightly. While it was sweet of him, to try and make this seem better for her, it didn't much change her mind on the whole situation. Even though she sometimes hated it, she'd rather be training, and helpful. "What positives are there with this?" she asks, scoffing slightly. As far as she knew, there were none. And if there were, the negatives far outweighed them. "I don't want to be useless. I don't want to drag you down. I want to come with you places and I want to train, and I want to beat Lucedio's ass." She sighs heavily, not moving her head from his grip but simply shifting her eyes to look down at the floor instead. "I don't want to be put on hold. It'll make things more difficult for you." And for herself, but she cared much more for how it would be for him. "I'm just fucking things up for the both of us now." No, she saw no positives.

|| A sigh escapes his lips as he tries to think of ways to turn Chava's mindset to see his own at the very least. It was harder than it seemed. "I mean, if it's a son, we'd have an heir to carry on the new Thorne name." He tilted his head, though he couldn't think of anything she'd find positive, but settles for a joke, "When they turn seventeen you get to kick them out of the house." When she speaks again he sighs before saying, "You can help in ways beyond combat, you know. I think you told me as much once, yourself."

|| Chava gave him credit for trying, but it wasn't doing much to calm her nerves. "And if it's a girl?" she points out, scoffing, before shaking her head and taking more steps back from him, dropping her arms from his torso. She sighs, rubbing her temples. "You realize I'm probably the worst mother in the world, right?" she whispers. No, he probably didn't realize at all. He hasn't seen her when she first met Aveline. He didn't know. He'd be disgusted with her for it. She hated children. "And I don't care, I want to help every way I can. I'm not going to sit here and be a weak link to you, be more vulnerable. Fucking pregnant or not," she growls, fists clenching. Her mind whirls with every possibility that could go wrong. "If Lucedio finds out, you know. I'll be an incredibly easy target. And if by some miracle I happen to live long enough to actually birth the kid, who's to say they won't be the new target while Lucedio tries to break you? It's not like this is something I can /hide/."

|| He tilts his head for a moment before commenting, "Then we make sure whoever she marries takes the Thorne name by threatening them with torture and death. Win-win." He raises a brow at her question, before chuckling, "No matter what, we can hardly be worse than my parents, now can we?" He presses a kiss to her cheek before saying, "And if need be I can raise them. You'd just need to step into the ministry on my behalf a couple times." He groaned out as she argued against him. They were going to be in the basement a long time, if this kept up. "And you can't. I'm not allowing you into situations where you'll be in danger. If need be I will use the same method you used on me while I was injured." As he spoke he narrowed his eyes slightly before saying again, "And that's why I'll have the wards buffed up. You can stay here for the duration, only let loose when I'm home, or you can accept the fact that you won't be in combat situations for the duration of your pregnancy. Your choice. I will do everything in my power to protect you and our child, and if need be, I'll put that in an unbreakable vow if need be."

|| More than anything, Chava wanted to argue. With each word he said to her she wanted to refute it and go against it until he understood her, until he gave in and let her help. She wanted to be some kind of help, even /with/ this goddamn kid in her stomach weighing her down. Literally, even. Her eyes widen slightly at the thought of a body bind or unbreakable vows, so she continues to take more steps back, rapidly. "No," she almost hisses, pointing a finger out at him. But then she realised for the vow he'd need her arm, so she presses both of her arms behind her, out of his reach, moving to the other wall to stand against. "No, no you won't," she insists, shaking her head over and over again. "Even without this I'd constantly be in a situation in which I'm in danger. Hell, even being with you and married to you puts me in danger. You can't stop that. I'll be weaker but I refuse to just sit idly by and not do a thing." She takes a deep breath, and looks up again to look him dead in the eyes. She didn't want to say it, but she couldn't stop herself. Any little filter she had before was certainly gone now. "I will help you. With everything. Against Lucedio. If you don't let me I'll find my own way. But I won't make us all weaker." She looks down at the ground again, curling into herself slightly.

|| Why was Chava making his so difficult? He was starting to get irritated at Chava's views on the situation, and while she had some good points, she wasn't entirely correct. "I Will. You may be in danger simply for your marriage to me, but I refuse to let you throw yourself in more danger because you seem to think you won't be able to help in any way." he took a deep breath before pushing himself from the wall. "You can help. But you won't fight, you won't train, and you'll let me fight the fight I've fought for years until that child is born. /Then/ and /only/ then, will I allow you to rejoin the fight. If you want to help in the meantime, you can help on other fronts."

|| Chava was so frustrated she was fit to scream, and she almost did. She grips the roots of her hair in her hands and bites down on a stifled scream, leaning back against the wall. There was no winning here, it seemed. But she was stubborn enough to keep trying. "NO!" she cries, insisting. "I can fight better, train harder than I have been, no matter what it takes.” She bounds on him once more now, almost pleading, tugging on his arm and ready to get on her knees if she had to. "Dami, please let me help. I'll still be fine and functional for weeks, /months/ even, you can't just keep me locked up when I don't need to be out of worry." She grips him tighter, looking into his eyes. He didn't seem to be budging. But she couldn't stand the thought of being stuck at home not knowing if Damien had even survived a fight, not knowing if he would even return home. Lucedio would find out anyway, she was sure of it. "WHAT other fronts, exactly?!"

|| "Every decision I make, I have to make for the betterment of you, Your child, my child, our unborn child, my sister." He stood up straighter, pacing back and forth in front of her, "That's an incredible weight on my shoulders. But I do it, regardless, because I care. I may be a violent, sadistic asshole, but I care about my family. So when I say I'm not allowing you into combat situations, I'm not just thinking of you. So unless you want to try to take that weight yourself, I suggest you not try and get yourself killed." he sighed, averting his gaze from her before saying, "Because this road you seem to want to lead, leads only to your death. If you want to help, use your alias, get a position at the ministry, and help me there. There's a lot that needs to be done on that front."

|| Chava groans, rubbing her eyes. Of course what he said made sense, and she supposed she should listen, yet she was still having trouble with that aspect. She reaches for him again, but a little more gently, aiming to lace her fingers through his. "Can we at least compromise?" she sighs, hoping he would at least hope to this. Sure, for a while now she would be sick, lightheaded, and a nightmare to deal with, but this was the easiest stage for her. She was still perfectly capable of living for a while. She didn't need to be locked inside just yet, or ever really, but she wouldn't say that to him. "Until it gets bad, until I get really bad, I still want to help you and fight with you as I have been. I still want to come with you places, take the weight off your shoulders some, before I become a complete nightmare." She pauses, eyes searching his. If he could agree to this, she would be fine for a while. Until she got bad, in which case she'd merely play along until she could get out there with him. "At least I'm not actually trying to get myself killed again," she whispers.

|| Damien sighs, leaning back against the wall, thinking on her question. A compromise would be good, and could finally end this argument. He'd just have to put in some amendments. "Fine. However, I have some stipulations. You can join me on fights up until you get bad, however, if I feel you are in immediate danger, or you get injured or something along those lines, I reserve the right to send you back home, and I want no complaints if I do so!" he knew that would be a hard request for her to accept, but that was his condition, and if she didn't accept it, he would just make sure she stayed home on his missions involving Lucedio. He narrowed his eyes at her at her last comment, despite her whispering it, "That may be so, but your harming yourself would have caused your death. Think before you act next time."

|| She opens her mouth and closes it again, unsure what to say. She splutters for a moment, trying to find the words, and fighting a battle in her head on what to fight on with Damien. She could keep trying... or she could let it be and let things work themselves out on its own. She could accept the compromise and then later, even when she was bad, attempt to sneak out still in spite of it all... but did she really want to do that? In all honesty, it would probably be terrible of her to do. She was being selfish. She wasn't thinking straight, and she was actually considering betraying some kind of trust to Damien. She takes a deep breath. "I... I guess... I..." And just like that, she was crying again. Oh, how capricious was she. But she didn't move closer to him again for comfort- now she felt bad. Really bad. Like she wanted to collapse onto the floor. "Wow, I'm selfish," she mutters quietly, staring down at her feet. She wipes at her eyes. "I... should start being more honest with you."

|| He knew it was something Chava would have a hard time accepting, however like he had told Chava, there was a large pressure on him to think for the good of everyone, not only that, but to make sure that if even he lost the fight against Lucedio, that there was no way for everyone else to be harmed or even killed. It was one of the reasons he spent quite a bit of time working with the ministry, to make sure that in the event of his death that all the children could be protected. There was nothing he could do if he died and Chava lived, he only hoped Chava would have enough sense to do what he was doing, make sure everyone else was safe, before recklessly combatting Lucedio, and possibly dying in the promise. It was the best he could hope for, after all. "Thank you." He pauses in thought at her later comments before saying, "In many ways we're all selfish. It's how we act that matters." He chuckles, before moving forward, joking lightly "I would appreciate that, being your husband and all." He pulls her into his arms, kissing her cheek before saying. "The only other thing I ask is that before you rush to conclusions, or putting yourself in danger, consider what you could stand to lose should you go through with it. And what could happen because of your actions."

|| Chava couldn't help but give in, curling her arms tightly around his torso and gripping his shirt in her fingers. She was still crying, but silently, subtly, and she hated that she was trying at all. "I'm trying," she murmurs into his shoulder in response, holding him tighter. "But it's hard to change who I have been for so long. Even if it's dangerous to you, and the rest of us. But... I promise I'm trying. That's why I made that vow." Again she sighs, pulling her head back slightly to look at him once more. The smallest of smiles tugs at her lips. "The only thing I can't promise is that I won't complain. Pregnant women do that, you know," she teases, offering a small laugh. The most she could do was trying to make light of the situation. "I want to be the best wife," she grins, still faintly. And how could she do that with her lying about her intentions and worrying him to death thinking she'll throw herself on Lucedio's blade? "It'll really be alright, you think?" she asks with seriousness, a hand clutching her stomach.

|| Damien smiles slightly at her at least accepting his motions, despite the fact that she was crying. He lifted a hand, running it through her hair before responding. "I know you are. I'm just afraid we won't have enough time..." He paused at that, leaning his head back against the wall.The past few months had been much different compared to the past decade or so. Lucedio was far less active for one, and he feared what his twin might be planning. In his experience, times when Lucedio was inactive had never been good. "Or perhaps it's best to just say I'm simply afraid." he chuckles lightly before joking, "I guess we know why I wasn't a Gryffindor." He smirks lightly at her, before saying, "And you're already the best by far." He stopped momentarily at her question, before sighing, and averting his gaze away from her towards the ceiling. "I don't know. I hope so, but I don't know. Which is exactly why we must take precautions. I may know Lucedio well enough due to our war, but even I can never guess his next move."

|| She closes her eyes and leans against him, just listening to him talk for a moment, letting his words linger in the air. It might not be alright in the future, but right then it was, and right then that's what mattered to her. Looking to the future and planning was always important, but so was taking small moments and living in the present for a while. Chava was never one to be very positive at all, but if there was one thing she wanted more than anything else, it was Damien's happiness. And she had spent so much time and energy telling him she would die, and to prepare for her death in the case of it, and that he had to learn to live without her... And it would be foolish of her to think that made him any happier. No, it was time for a change. Right then and there. Noticing him looking away from her and up at the ceiling, she grasps one of his hands gently and places it on her stomach, before taking his face in both her hands and tugging lightly to look into his eyes again. "Neither of us are going to die," she whispers, pressing her forehead to his, and planting a gentle kiss to his lips. "I promise."

|| A sigh escapes his lips, and he turns his gaze to look at her, though her moving his head had a say in that. While her words were of some comfort, he knew her promise was an empty one. One that couldn't /truly/ be carried out with one hundred percent certainty. Thus, while it had some comfort, it also made his thoughts on the matter turn darker. "I hope so, but we can't be sure. People I cared about have died at Lucedio's hands before. That's a promise you can't really keep." He smiled slightly at her, before wrapping his arm around her waist, before waving his other hand, raising the wards. "Either way, I'm going to /Damn well try/ to make that a reality. If not for us, but for everyone who relies on us."

|| Sighing slightly, Chava stands on her tiptoes to reach him, pressing multiple kisses all over his face. "No, I promise. I promise. Neither of us will die." And yet, even though she insisted on this, the darkest parts of her knew this wasn't true. Or it would at least be very hard to keep true. This wasn't some fairytale. This was real life, and people died. Tragedy was unavoidable. Still, she offers him a faint smile, kissing his lips again. "I plan to live and be with you for a very long time. You got that?" she murmurs, holding up her hand with the ring on it. "This means forever." As long as he enjoyed this one moment in time and happy moments to come. Because surely tragedy was to strike- and the best thing to do would be to try and have as many happy moments as they could before it did. "I love you," she smiles faintly, before tugging on his hand as he lifts the wards around the room. "Come on. I think I'm gonna need lots of potions for the next coming months."